Monday, 15 February 2010

Valentine's Day: The Morning After

Valentine's Day is not a big event in my house. Being childless (for now), I do not feel any obligation to whip up crafts and treats or make Valentine's for a class full of little people. I would not consider my husband or myself overly romantic, and so the day usually passes in our house with little fanfare. This year was no exception. However, this Valentine's Day 'season' something did strike me as odd - the ever growing controversy surrounding this little non-holiday that is supposed to celebrate love. Yes friends, Cupid is now mired in controversy. For Islamists Valentine's Day is a no-no for obvious reasons, and now many leftists and feminists (usually one in the same) are decrying Valentine's Day as an evil conspiracy to celebrate man's dominance over women. These two points received extensive coverage on various blogs over the past week so I will not reiterate them.

Why the big fuss? Because Valentine's day is a threat - and people are just plain crazy. As silly as it sounds, a day devoted to love and the celebration of loving relationships is a big threat for those seeking to undermine the value of marriage and stable relationships. Instead of viewing the day as a chance for men to show their love and appreciation for their significant other, some nutbars see it as men showing their control over women and money. Give me a break. This is 2010 - most women don't need men to buy stuff for them, they want them to because it makes them feel special and loved. And most women don't even need stuff - some special alone time is enough to make a girl feel good.

These nutbars who feel so threatened by Valentine's Day would rather women show their independence by partying the night away at a local nightclub, sleeping with the hottest guy there, and then heading to the pharmacy for a morning-after pill. Because for feminists, nothing says 'I am a strong independent woman' quite like terminating an inconvenient pregnancy after meaningless sex with a total stranger. Many women are so wrapped up in themselves and their careers that random sex is the most meaningful relationship they have, and these women are lonely - but they can never admit it because for them a confession of loneliness is seen as an admission of failure. Rather than 'fess up to some Valentine's Day blues some women feel the need to lash out at other women who are actually in happy, stable relationships. In society's twisted logic it is alright to make sacrifice after sacrifice for your career, but not for your husband because if you make a sacrifice for your husband, clearly, he controls you.

I know several women with incredibly successful careers who are not married - and have chosen not to get married at this point in their life because of their careers. I applaud these women - not for sticking it to the man - but for being mature and responsible enough to realize the tremendous amount of sacrifice needed for a healthy marriage and for recognizing at this point in their life they are not ready to make those sacrifices. I know women who got married young, are still married, and have 3 kids that they spend most of their week running from hockey games to dance lessons to youth groups. I know women who are married with kids and who work, living a life where most days is a crazy balancing act where they feel like Gumby being pulled in twenty directions at once. None of these women are failures; they are smart, successful and happy - and they are certainly not afraid of Valentine's Day.